


Out of ice cream? Hawkeye's got your back!

by OfflineAlex



Series: Clint and Tony are the best of bros [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Found Family, Humor, I mean its fanfiction, Im making the characters better for me shut up, Kinda, OOC Clint, OOC Tony, Team as Family, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, no beta we die like men, nothing better than a 2 am snack run with your teammate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28982880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfflineAlex/pseuds/OfflineAlex
Summary: It's 2 am and Tony wants ice cream, but they're all out. Luckily, Clint has a great idea: let's just go to Target and get some!
Relationships: Clint Barton & Tony Stark
Series: Clint and Tony are the best of bros [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2126004
Kudos: 8





	Out of ice cream? Hawkeye's got your back!

“Ow!”

Tony glared at the metal water bottle now lying on the kitchen floor and rubbed his forehead where it had made impact. Behind the counter, Clint cringed, putting down the coffee pot he had been drinking out of. “I’m sorry?” He said, looking at Tony and pausing at the billionaire’s disheveled look. His hair was sticking out in all directions, evidence that for once, he had actually been sleeping in a bed instead of having passed out over his work. His worn AC/DC shirt was rumpled, but that might just be because of Tony’s inability to remember to wash his shirts.

“That a question, Legolas?” Kicking the empty bottle away and moving into the kitchen, Tony made a beeline for the freezer. Clint shrugged and resumed his 2 am coffee, giving his teammate a small grin.

“Well, you’re the one sneaking up on a world-class trained spy,” the archer replied and gave a snarky salute with the pot of coffee. Tony scoffed, rummaging through the packed freezer and ignoring the slight shake of his hands, hoping that if the spy noticed, he would think it was just because of the cold of the freezer.

“Can you really call it sneaking if it’s _my_ tower?” He asked in a tone that made clear he wasn’t actually looking for an answer, carrying on, “Where is the rocky road ice cream? I bought a tub just last week!” Tony exclaimed, and rubbed his face in an anxious manner.

Clint looked at the billionaire more closely and made a mental list of things that stood out. Dark bags under the eyes, very tense shoulders and back, slightly shaking hands, and are his eyes a bit bloodshot? “I think Nat ate it a few days back when she watched one of those bore-you-to-death nature documentaries.” That was just one of the things that had surprised Tony to no end about his new housemates (Tower-mates? Roommates?). He wasn’t sure what kinds of movies he had expected Natasha, the deadliest spy and human being he knew, to watch, but it sure wasn’t nature documentaries where absolutely nothing happens. Tony groaned and leaned forward, letting his head rest in the freezer. His night just kept on getting worse.

Clint had put down his coffee pot and crossed the small space in a heartbeat, pulling Tony away from the freezer and closing it. “Alright, what’s going on? Usually when you’re awake at 2 am, it’s because you’ve been working down in the lab, but I know Pepper banned you from the lab for a month two weeks ago when you accidentally blew up your suit and sent yourself flying through two walls. And even if you’ve been neglecting your sleep, you never act like this.” Tony rolled his eyes defensively.

“Tech is supposed to explode in the lab! I have to see how to blow it up to make sure I don’t accidentally blow myself up on a mission,” He rambled on, decidedly looking anywhere but at the archer. Clint rolled his eyes at the pitiful attempts and put his hands on Tony’s shoulders, trying to ground and calm down his teammate.

“Couldn’t go back to sleep?” Clint asked with knowing eyes. After all his training, if there was one thing he could do, it was read people. And right now, in his tired, shaken, and sleep-deprived state, Tony was an open book. Everything from the way he looked to the way he was acting pointed to someone coming down from a nightmare induced adrenaline-high. Tony’s eyes snapped from the sink to the archer and his mouth opened, ready to deny the implications of him, the invincible Iron Man, having nightmares. Clint shushed him, which only added to Tony’s chagrin. “Rocky road’s your go-to food on nights like these, huh?” Clint barreled on, not giving Tony any chance to try and deny having nightmares.

Tony sighed and crossed his arms, knowing he was beat. He nodded his head and gave Clint a half-smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, sure. But we’re all out, so what can you do, birdbrain?” Tony tried to pull away from Clint’s grip, when suddenly Clint made a sound very similar to DUM-E when he finally figured out a problem he’d been stuck on.

“Then let’s go get some!”

“I’m sorry?” Tony looked at the grinning archer like he had grown a second head or claimed that SHIELD’s tech was acceptable. Maybe he had hit his head a bit too hard on the mission the day before yesterday? Or fallen out of a vent? Either way, he wasn’t making any sense to Tony.

“You need rocky road, so let’s just go buy some. I could do with some more flaming hot Cheetos myself.” Clint’s grin was almost blinding at this point, and Tony was contemplating just giving up on the idea of rocky road and having a bottle or two or scotch instead. A 3 am grocery run to Target with Clint Barton, psycho-and-prankster extraordinaire could only end badly. Then, on the other hand, maybe a bit of chaos was what Tony needed to calm his nerves, and since he couldn’t go create his own chaos in the lab, he might as well go with Clint’s plan.

Tony gave a small, slightly reluctant nod and Clint whooped, finally letting go of the billionaire’s shoulders. “Let’s grab a coat and some shoes and get going then! You can even choose the car from your collection downstairs,” Clint said, knowing that getting to choose the car and being the one to drive was as important to Tony as not being handed things.

“We’re taking the Audi and if you even think about opening a bag of Cheetos in the car, I will leave you at an intersection.”

***

They hadn’t even been inside the Target for 15 minutes and Tony was already regretting this decision. “No, Clint we came here for ice cream and your Cheetos. Why on earth would we ‘absolutely have to’ go to the toy aisle?” Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. How this 10-year-old became one of SHIELD’s top spies was a mystery to him. Maybe that just showed that Natasha was actually the only competent spy in the whole institution.

“Oh, live a little, Stark! Where is the Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist I used to know? You’ve been almost as boring as Cap’s music sense lately,” Clint whined while trying to steer the shopping cart towards the toy aisle. Tony scowled, offended at being compared to grandpa Steve.

“I am not boring! I’ve just been busy, handling the R&R of SI, being the team’s PR manager and taking care of all of your equipment,” Tony grumbled and reluctantly let Clint steer the cart towards the toys. Clint squinted at him in a way that made the billionaire squirm on the inside.

“You know we can take turns with the PR stuff, right? It’s not like you have an actual degree to handle that. You gotta have some time to relax too man, when’s the last time you just sat down and watched a movie?” Tony just waved him off.

“Don’t you worry your birdbrain about it, Robin. I’m nowhere close to a burnout. Now what on earth are we doing here?” Tony asked as they finally got to the toy aisle. Clint shot him a look but let it slide this time.

“These right here are the one thing that’s missing from your tower,” Clint said, pulling a huge Nerf gun off the shelf. The grin on the archer’s face was almost blinding and Tony soon found himself grinning back.

“You know, Legolas? Sometimes you have good ideas.” Tony grabbed another gun off the shelf and inspected the box, his mind already spinning with ideas on how to improve the toy.

“Yeah, I was thinking of pranking Thor and Steve with some fire from the vents. Can’t prank you because you now know about the plan and pranking Tasha is just suicidal.” Tony chuckled and nodded. He was sure the good-old captain was still a bit afraid of the spy after he accidentally ate the last of her cereal. Clint threw the gun, some ammo and a bow and arrow set into the cart. Tony followed his lead and gestured towards the food-part of the store.

“Now is there something else you need, or can we proceed to why we’re here?” Clint rolled his eyes and threw Tony a cheeky grin.

“Why yes we can, sir.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

By the time they finally made it to the snacks, the cart was half-full with different toys, gadgets and miscellaneous items that they “just felt like buying”. Tony had drawn the line at electronics, firmly stating that he could build anything the archer wanted better and for free. “But if you want the Roomba without weapons that can’t fly, be my guest.” Clint had conceded the point at that and had happily put the Roomba down.

“Alright, now we’re talking!” Clint exclaimed, throwing 6 bags of Cheetos in the cart. He then proceeded to throw even more of other brands of snacks in while Tony went to browse the popcorn options. “Get some of that spicy chili popcorn!” Tony shot him a look and grabbed some of those as well as the plain old butter option.

Throwing the popcorn into the cart, Tony looked down at his watch. “There something else you want or do we go get the ice cream now?” Clint looked down at the full cart and shook his head.

“No, this should keep me happy for a few days,” Clint joked and pushed the cart to the freezers which were full of ice cream. While Tony was grabbing cartons of his rocky road, Clint decided to get some of the licorice ice cream for Nat for the next time he did something to piss her off and needed bribes. On a whim, Tony threw in a bottle of caramel sauce as well.

At the checkout, Clint turned to Tony. “So how are we paying? I have a SHIELD credit card that has unlimited spending for missions but I’m pretty sure nobody’s checking it,” he said, pulling out a black card with the SHIELD logo on it. How the agency had succeeded in staying secret, Tony could never figure out. And he was a genius, showing just how much of a miracle it was. Tony threw his teammate an incredulous look.

“You do realize that I’m an actual billionaire, right?”

“Yes, but it’s not fair to make you pay for everything. And are you really telling me not to misuse government funds?” Clint raised an eyebrow at the billionaire who thought on the question before finally nodding his head.

“You’re right. And if Pirate-boss gets angry, I can just have JARVIS lock him out of the tower.” Clint grinned and gave the card to the employee, who still hadn’t gotten over the two Avengers being so normal in his checkout aisle. Tony piled the bags into the cart and Clint snatched a bag of Cheetos out of one of them.

“You better finish that before we get back to the car, because that dust is not coming anywhere near my leather seats.” Clint just huffed and rolled his eyes, throwing another puff into his mouth. Tony just smiled at him and stole a Cheeto from his bag.

By some miracle, maybe the same one that was keeping SHIELD a secret, the archer did actually manage to finish his snacks before they got back to the car. Clint, being the best teammate, loaded the bags into the back while Tony returned the cart to its rightful place, and then climbed to the passenger seat, turning on the radio to a punk-rock channel.

Tony jumped into the car and immediately switched the station back to his favorite. “I choose the music, birdbrain. We’re not there yet.” Clint groaned but accepted his fate, at least Tony’s favorite music was close to his taste, unlike Steve’s “taste”.

As soon as Tony turned the car out onto the street, he heard a familiar noise from next to him. He slowly turned his head, only to see Clint eating out of yet another bag of Cheetos.

“Oops?” Clint grinned and threw another puff into his mouth.


End file.
